What's important to me
by cannn
Summary: SPOILERS CHAPTER 416! Laxus's considerations about his Raijinshuu. Rated T for swearing.


**A/N: **Hi everyone! :D Since from what I've seen no one gave a shit about what happened with Laxus and the Raijinshuu in the last chapter I decided to do it XD I hope you'll enjoy this very short one-shot! :)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Fairy Tail. The dialogues are taken from mangaeden's scans.

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><p>After Gray defeated Tempesta and gave them the sachet with the demon's blood, Levy and Gajeel-sama with Juvia on his back rushed to the hospital where Laxus, the Raijinshuu and Yajima-san had been transferred, so that Porlyusica could make an antidote to cure them.<p>

Before sunset the remedy was already pumping through the patients' veins and a couple of days after Freed, Bickslow and Evergreen got back up on their feet. Though their Thunder God was still asleep and didn't seem to feel very well yet.

The three bodyguards were kind of worried, days passed and even the old Yajima-san had recovered, but Laxus still didn't wake up. However Porlyusica had assured them that he would be fine, his recovery was slower because he'd absorbed a much bigger amount of noxious particles than they had, and they believed her. Effectively his breath got more regular, the temperature, the sweat and the dark circles around his eyes were gone, his skin had taken a healthier complexion.

He wasn't suffering anymore, at least that's what they thought.

Laxus was physically better, true, but he still felt like shit: during the coma he'd been haunted by nightmares, images of that fucking demon hurting and killing his best friends flashed through his mind and in the rare moments he had some control over it, the only thing he could do was thinking that if one of the scenarios playing in his head became reality the pain he'd felt until just a few days earlier, maybe the worst experienced in his life, would be nothing compared to the one that the loss of one of his precious friends would give him.

They meant so much to him and he couldn't picture life without them. Since they were kids those three brats had always sticked around him, and while he liked having someone hanging at his every words and obeying his orders, at the very beginning he was bothered by their presence. But during the hardest times of his life the certainty that they'd always be by his side was the only thing that allowed him to sleep at night. For a long time he didn't recognize their value though, in fact how did he repay them? He forced them to do things they actually didn't want to do or treated them like shit.

For example during the Fighting Festival of 7 years earlier Freed was the only one questioning his decisions, but while they planned their "coup d'état", he had seen the uneasiness on Bickslow and Evergreen's faces, even though they didn't have the nerve to voice their thoughts. He'd shown them the worst part of him, he'd been capable to threaten Freed with his lightning, to reproach Evergreen for getting defeated by Erza, he got mad at Bickslow for not living up to his expectations...

But even after all that they were still willing to follow him, even in exile. They would leave Fairy Tail despite everything it meant for them, just for him.

"_I will accompany you along this path, even if it leads to hell_". Freed's statement echoed in his mind and he knew that Bickslow and Evergreen could promise the same anytime.

In the moment those words were uttered Laxus thought that Freed owed him that loyalty, but rethinking about all that situation during his exile he'd truly understood how much of a bastard he'd been and that anyone else would have told him to screw up.

He also understood the reason behind some behaviors: around him they were always respectful, obedient, shy, _fearful_.

They were fucking scared. Damn. Even Bickslow's usually noisy babies kept quiet. And it really was no surprise that they thought he might hurt them, he knew that his personality wasn't one of the best and that he could get pretty scary when he was mad. To be honest what he could have been capable to do to them scared him himself.

In the end he thought about his appellative, Thunder God. The first time they'd called him that his ego got pumped to immeasurable levels, but he soon got to the conclusion that he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve them.

But it hadn't always been like that, there had been times when he wasn't afraid to admit how much they mattered to him, times when he wasn't a jerk and theirs was a normal friendship. He just hoped that the Raijinshuu hadn't forgotten those times and that if they worshipped him with that devotion it was not out of fear but because they loved him.

On Tenrou, when they threw themselves on him, they nearly killed him, but their reaction to his return made his heart swell in his chest and he was glad to see that they acted as if nothing had happened, they made him feel so comfortable that he even casually threw an arm around Freed's shoulders while talking about random things as they used to do when they were kids. They really were something.

When he was readmitted to Fairy Tail he decided that he would do anything to repay his Raijinshuu for everything they'd done and been for him. The only noteworthy thing he'd ever done for them was forcing them to stay at the guild after the Fighting Festival, the least he could do. But now he wanted to be again worthy of their friendship, though his actions didn't only come from that desire of redemption, but also from true affection.

Still, he hadn't been strong enough to protect them.

Ok, since they were the bodyguards they were ones supposed to protect him and not vice versa. But he didn't really care about their role, if they needed him he would be there to keep them safe at all costs and return the pain caused to them 100 fold. That's why when he found them in danger at Yajima-san's restaurant, he didn't hesitate to beat the crap out of that demon, and when that bastard exploded releasing the toxic particles, he got furious seeing that his friends were passing out one after the other. They were suffering and he wasn't doing anything, what about his vow? He had to at least save their lives, so he tried to create a particles-free path for Freed by inhaling that substance. As he did it it was like his lungs had been set on fire. The simple action of breathing was getting hard and painful but he continued, determined to save his friends. When the road was cleared he gave Freed his usual smirk trying to reassure him and ordered him to bring everyone to the guild, but immediately fell on the ground and heard the green haired wizard screaming his name before losing consciousness. As far as he was concerned the rune mage could have left him there, instead he didn't and now there he was, feeling pathetic.

Pathetic because he'd always been blabbering about how strong and powerful he was and that he hated weaklings. God, he'd forced the whole Fairy Tail to fight each other because he wanted only strong people in his guild, but he felt the weakest of all. He would be nothing without his best friends, but still he had allowed himself to risk their lives. By now he already knew that even if he'd defeated Jura he still had a long way to go to be one of the strongest living mages, but if he couldn't protect who was important to him the situation had to change immediately.

As he regained consciousness he heard Freed, Bickslow and Evergreen chatting in a low tone and relief washed over him knowing that they were fine. He slowly opened his eyes and Bickslow and Evergreen, noticing it, exulted with happiness:

"Laxus!"

"Hell yeah! Laxus finally woke up!"

The blonde haired mage abruptly sat up and instinctively put a hand before his eyes, as if it could stop the world from spinning.

"Honestly, you really had us worrying there..." Freed said.

"I'm...pathetic" Laxus had a self-condemning expression. He suddenly pulled the three of them close to himself. Shouts of "WAAAH!", "Wai-" and "What's the matter?!" ensued, but he just held them tighter. "I can't keep doing this. I can't keep failing to protect the things most important to me".

At first they were incredulous, but then they returned the hug relishing the meaning of what their Thunder God had just said, as he enjoyed the feeling of having them so close to him.


End file.
